Mother's Day

 

Mother's Day - what an odd time of year for us ReMom's.  On one hand we have our child or children who are adults now. And on the other hand we have the grandchild we are raising for them. It's a bit awkward at our house because our grandchild's Father (our son) is not on speaking terms with us due to the custody issue. So the expectation is low that he will be around or call to honor his Mom.

Most of the time our granddaughter (6 yrs old) will talk her Paw Paw into taking her to get her Nana a card and/or gift. So that's a good thing. Every Mother no matter if she is a Mom biologically or a Mom at heart wants to hear from her children on Mother's Day.

As I said this ReMom stuff can be confusing. Most of the time as a grandmother you spoil your grandbabies and then send them home. We can buy what the parents can't afford. We can give them lots of junk food without feeling guilty. We can be understanding, compassionate, give advice and love them regardless of their clothing or hairstyle!  LOL!

But as a ReMom that's not possible. You see we have to worry about cavities from junk food or the need for more nutritious food. We can't afford to do much because we are responsible for the child's everything. We can't spoil them because they ARE home and we have to deal with them if they behave like brats. 

We look, smell, act and seem like a grandmother but we have to behave like a Mom. It's not an easy walk to learn but it is a joyous one!

Her smile

Her laugh

Are full and rich

Her voice

Her touch

Are soothing and gentle

Her thought

Her feelings

Mean everything

When I’ve got nobody

Bridget Brown  

As you celebrate Mother's Day (ReMother's Day) please remember that without you that child would have nobody. Because you opened your heart and life you have given a heart and life to a child.

I wish each Grandmother Raising a Grandchild a very Happy Mother's Day! 

May God bless you and your family with time together to make sweet memories! 

Time sure has changed things.

 

 

Time sure has changed things.

I remember way back when (late 70's-90's) our children were growing up. As a stay at home Mom then I looked for any convenience item I could find. My children were only 18 months apart so having two in diapers was hectic plus I was trying to wean the oldest.

 

That was the days of glass bottles, cloth diapers, and strange car seats. LOL!

 

When we got custody of our granddaughter at 4 months old in the mid-2000's I was shocked, surprised and happy at some of the changes in child rearing. I wanted to list a few of them and explain what I liked or disliked about each one. Perhaps you will remember a few and comment on them as well.  :-)

 

 

1. Disposable Diapers - wow! A diaper you didn't have to hand wash the poo out of or bleach? No more strong smell of urine? No more plastic diaper covers that caused rashes? You buy these plastic covered padded diapers that velcro taped on! Yep, you could toss those huge diaper pins with plastic animals on them. Although those pins were cute as could be. But no more stuck fingers either! Now I only stick my finger when I'm checking my sugar! LOL!

2. No Spill Sippy Cups -  wow again! You mean you could hand a toddler a cup with kool-aid in it and let them walk (trip) across your living room floor with no spills? Come on!  They could use it in their car seat (which is another one on the list) and not spill in the car? No more watching the cup tip itself back upright - hopefully? So easy, so convenient and it took so long to invent!  LOL!

 

 

3. Car Seats - Ok, so to be honest we had car seats back then but they weren't mandatory nor were they comfortable for the child and we definitely had no safe way to "hook" them safely to the car.  I remember coming home from the hospital with my oldest child in my arms. And I remember trying to figure out what to do with the baby in the car while the toddler was well...toddling around inside the car. It definitely wasn't safe and a huge distraction to the driver. But my sister and I took our five children (between us) many times out in a vehicle. It's a wonder they survived...not the car trip but each other in the back seat!  LOL!

 

 

 

 

4. Playpens - Playpens were not a new invention because we did have those back in the "olden days" but they sure went through a huge change. The ones we had were wood, with huge slats in the sides and a tiny 1/2" padding in the bottom. When I went to get our granddaughter one I was shocked at the accessories and comfort. My goodness a child would never want out of the new playpens to explore the world! They vibrated, played music, had a thick bedding and even had mobiles that were out of this world on them. If they had been around when I was a child I might still have been in one!  LOL!

 

 

 

 

 

5. Baby Walker/Bouncer/Seat - And then of course when baby became able to sit up alone or crawl there were times when Mom needed to "corral" them critters. A baby walker did not stop their movement but stopped them from messing! LOL! You could put a baby in the walker and they could follow you around crying for you but could not reach across the tray to mess. You could also give them some snacks to keep them happy. 

 

And then some families had what was called a bouncer. No, not a big bulky manly bouncer! But a seat that you could put the baby in to sooth them when they were fussy. The only problem was...it required your foot to constantly bounce the baby. No automated stuff for us. 

 

I will never forget the day I asked at Walmart if they had a baby walker in the infant section. The clerk looked at me with shock and "suggested" something else since the government no longer allowed babies to move around while seated. LOL! Thus I found the new activity seat. Boy, did they name that thing right. It had more bells, whistles, buttons, gadgets on it than you could shake a stick at! And the seat went around and around in a circle so the child could experience all the toys on it! Wow! She might never learn to crawl because she would never want out of this thing either!

 

 

 

 

 

Has starting over raising a grandchild been easy? No. But I sure was one thankful ReMom for a lot of the new fanggled inventions that made things a little more convenient for raising a baby.

 

Now I am learning how much the public school system has changed. But that's another story for another day!  LOL!

Falling in Love

 

      When your child creates a new life as a grandparent you fall in love all over again. You remember your own child as a baby and look for similarities between the two.

 

      As grandparents we look forward to the time in our life where we are not responsible for this new life yet we get the privilege of spoiling, loving and giving them all we couldn't give our own child.

 

      When our oldest granddaughter was born we realized what a special gift it was to become a grandparent. She became a frequent visitor and as she grew up she soon learned to enjoy our hobby & passion - motorcycling.

 

      Then our grandson was born. Wow, a boy! How exciting now to watch a baby boy grow into a young man. Life seemed so full to us. Our daughter had blessed us with two lovely grandchildren and being a grandparent was as the old timers say, "the cat's meow".  LOL!

 

      One Christmas our son proposed to his girlfriend and it wasn't long until we found out we were soon to be grandparents again. It had been 9 & 7 years since a baby was in the house so the thrills began again for us.

 

      When our granddaughter was born with a cleft lip and palate we were surprised but more than that we fell in love again. When she was airlifted at 6 hours old to a children's hospital hours away we were surprised but followed her there.

 

      At 4 months old she came to live with us for forever. Today she is six years old, has had seven surgeries and will face many more. She has not had one surgery that her Nana wasn't by her side. Today we are grandparents raising a grandchild with special medical needs. And wouldn't change a minute of it.

 

    3 amazing grandchildren

+  2 blessed grandparents

=  Priceless

 

Once again it happens...

 

 

      another set of grandparents are given grandchildren to raise.

 

      I talked with a friend today whose daughter that is an addict had her children taken away by CPS this past weekend. Of course, when they called the grandparents they agreed to take the children into their home.

 

      A lot of people don't realize how that one phone call can change your life.

 

      First, you are forced quickly to make a decision. Do you accept the child to make sure they are cared for & loved? Or do you allow CPS to place them in the foster system not knowing what type of situation they will be put into?

 

      Second, you quickly take a look at your lifestyle. No, I don't mean the child being a hindrance to your party time or if the child will ruin your retirement. You look at your finances...can you afford to take this child in or are you living on a fixed income from social security? Then you ponder where will the child sleep? How will you get clothes for him/her? How will you get them to their school? Do you have the money to buy extra food for the month? Will you need a babysitter while you try to keep your job?

 

      Third, you think about the entire situation. Often this doesn't happen until you've decided some of the other questions and agree to accept the child. Then you start thinking about: what if CPS gives the child back too soon? what if the parents don't give up their addiction? how will it affect the child to bounce back & forth? what if I give my whole heart to this child only to have it ripped away?

 

      When grandparents accept their grandchildren into their home they open their doors, their finances, their lives, their hearts and their love vulnerably. A lot of times the grandparents are at a time in life where they long for rest, peace, enjoyment of their hobbies and approach starting over again raising a child with caution.

 

      Speaking with my friend brings all these sentiments fresh and anew to me again. But being a grandparent raising a grandchild isn't all bad...tomorrow I will write about the blessings of saying "yes" to that special phone call. 

 

                              

 

Happy Easter. 

     As an older generation we remember Easter's from decades ago. I will never forget the tight dress shoes, the fancy dress and of course my Easter bonnet. Oh yes, the white gloves as well. When all the females dressed to the nines and the little men sported their first "suits". 

     Things have changed and yet remained the same. Easter eggs still hold a delight for small children. Easter baskets still bring small toys and sweet candy. Decorating eggs is a wonderful treat for grandparents to share with their grandchildren. After all we've been perfecting that art for many years!

     At six years old I can't imagine dressing my granddaughter in white gloves or an Easter bonnet. We did pick up an inexpensive outfit at the dollar store for her though. She looks like a cutie pie in it and we will be getting many pics of her!

     For some celebrating Easter would not be complete without telling the story of Jesus' resurrection. Sharing an Easter drama at church with their grandchildren. Or reading the story of the Hope of Life. 

     However your family celebrates this holiday I want to wish each of you the best day ever! May your joy be abundant, may your happiness overflow and most of all may you see life in the eyes of your grandchild!

Walking in someone else's shoes...

Are you a Grandparent Raising a Grandchild?

THEN

      I have friends who are in their 70's & 80's raising their grandchildren on a fixed social security income. Some of those grandchildren have special needs. And a lot of us GRG's can't get the bio-parents to meet their child support payments. 

 

       Grandparents who are past the age of hire ability. Past the age of physical ability. Past the age of energy ability. And they are struggling everyday to do the best they can for their grandchildren.

 

       Yes, they knew when they accepted the challenge it would be a struggle. Yes, they chose to accept that privilege willingly.

 

      Our government is throwing money at all walks of life. Some deserving and some not. The only minority (which is rapidly becoming a majority) that does not receive a monthly stipend from the taxes they paid in to is of course the GRG's. 

 

      Please remember which age group we are discussing. The generation that was independent. The group of survivors who doesn't ask for handouts freely. The women/men who have worked for many decades paying in their taxes and who at this point in life could use a little help. Not for themselves mind you...but for these children who would have been left behind.

 

      We GRG's are saving our government from paying out millions to the foster system because we are not allowing our grandchildren to be passed around to strangers homes.

 

      We are giving all we have to give...and not even receiving an offer as a thank you!

Introducing our Family

Introducing our Family

Our granddaughter drew this picture last year to represent our family. You see a Paw Paw, a Nana, her aunt, two cousins, herself and our two dogs.

What makes us a unique family? We are one of the growing numbers of grandparents raising grandchildren.

7.0 million

The number of grandparents whose grandchildren younger than 18 were living with them in 2010.

2.7 million

The number of grandparents responsible for the basic needs of one or more grandchildren under 18 living with them in 2010. Of these caregivers, 1.7 million were grandmothers and 1.0 million were grandfathers.

Our society is rapidly becoming a nation of families that do not fit the "normal" definition of family.

When we (hubby & I) were 53 & 48 respectively we began the process to learn to become parents again. This journey began with disbelief. Disbelief that at the time in our life we would soon be experiencing colic, teething, potty training and all the fun stuff of new parents again. Frustration was second. Frustration that the two parents (our son & his girlfriend) created this beautiful child and yet were incapable of caring for her. Anger started creeping in as well. We had spent the last decade learning to love each other, love our new found freedom and loving our new hobby (motorcycle riding). And now all that had come to an abrupt halt.

Now the fun stuff! We as middle aged people had to re-learn how to change diapers. What? Disposable diapers? Where's the pins? How do you wash them out to reuse them? Throw them away! What a waste! OMG, we don't have to wash them! Totally cool!

Diaper wipes? In a box? In a pack? Oh wow! No more rinsing out washclothes? Heated wipes? OMG, are these babies spoiled now or what? Oh sorry, that's are we parents spoiled not or what?

And the absolute best invention in three decades yet. Better than disposable diapers, better than heated wipes, better than car seats? Yes. It has to be.....ta dah...non-spill sippy cups! Yes!!! Finally we parents aren't constantly mopping up spilled drinks. Gotta love whoever invented that baby!



Census Facts:
 Census.gov